Nom de Plume Rating: ★★★★☆
Reading Time: 5 minutes
*FTC Disclaimer: I received a copy of HOLY CRAP! THE WORLD IS ENDING! from Anna-Marie Abell in exchange for an honest review. I have in no way been influenced by the author and/or publisher’s generosity. You can’t fake these stars, baby!
End times are here! Now you can eat whatever you want and not care if you gain weight.
The president has announced that Earth is going to collide with a rogue moon, and in the process, our entire planet is going to be smashed to bits. As one would expect, upon hearing this news, humans went ballistic. It was as if every sports team in the world lost their championship game at the same time. No car was left unrolled—but oddly enough, Taco Bell remained open and made unfathomable profits in the last days. Apparently, Doritos Locos® Tacos were a popular last meal.
Autumn (who for the purpose of this retelling asked to be portrayed as drool-inducing hot with kick-ass ninja skills) has just been handed the task of saving all of humanity. With the help of her unbelievably sexy alien boyfriend and her kleptomaniac friend with fire-retardant hair, Autumn races to save her fellow humans by using the Ark of the Covenant. Along the way, she discovers how sheltered people are from the truth of extraterrestrials and their power to either protect us or destroy us.
Grab a bottle of wine, a shipload of snacks, and prepare to take a ride on this humorous chick lit romantic sci-fi paranormal adventure. If you’re into Ancient Aliens, conspiracy theories, UFOs, crave a little sexy time in your reading, are curious if we were genetically engineered (like the Sumerian cuneiform texts claim), and are dying to find out the meaning of life, then this book is for you.
First Line: “It was Friday and my vacation week had officially started. Woohoo!…”
I don’t think I’ve ever wanted the world to end so desperately. Gimme a Greek alien god to save me! 😏
Anna-Marie Abell has recreated Armageddon! This is a tantalizingly hilarious—and saucy—apocalyptic romance. We have good versus evil before the end of the freaking world!
We are first introduced to Autumn. She is quirky, witty and absolutely clumsy. After listening to a late night conspiracy radio broadcast, she visits Barnes & Noble to look for books on light beings.
She doesn’t necessarily find what she’s looking for, but she does see some mighty fine piece of delectable male HOTNESS. Her wandering eyes can’t help but fixate on any and everything emanating masculinity. The dreamy Barnes & Noble assistant, the hunk of an alien (that she doesn’t know is an alien yet) standing across the way…girl is going crazy!
Speaking of crazy, she suddenly starts hearing voices in her head and has an out of body experience. Meaning: she physically leaves her body. She’s this hovering thing floating above herself like those terrible dreams where you’re watching yourself make terrible decisions.
Autumn’s terrible decision is falling in love with the crazy hot alien. Well, that, and running him over with her car—the latter was an accident. I call it fate.
What Autumn soon finds out is that this hunk-o’-B&N signifies the destruction of Earth. No man should have that much power. Oh, but he does.
“I was startled awake by my real screams reverberating off the walls of my bedroom…I sagged back against the pillows and calmed by racing heart. I couldn’t shake the dream. Rigel falling into the pit of lava kept playing over and over on a continuous loop…I hadn’t really, I mean really, thought about what could happen if I continued these secret meetings with [him].”
Secret meetings, huh?…
Rigel, Autumn’s extraterrestrial man-love, is quite the specimen, my friends. He is from a planet unseen in the solar system. Snort. A planet of sexiness. These two are combustible and Anna-Marie Abell is not shy with that lighter!
Does the world end? Well, yes. It’s in the book’s title. What happens to Autumn as human kind inevitably disintegrates? 🤔
Autumn is handed the responsibility of saving her race. Meanwhile, Rigel is looming in the dark like a sexy reaper of death and destruction and honestly, I wouldn’t mind sacrificing myself to him.
“One last super sexy half-smile appears on his face, and my pain is replaced by the warmth of pure love.”
The other characters in this book act as catalysts propelling our protagonists on this wild, conflicting journey. I could have survived without them; they’re not necessary, but perhaps they have a better place in the subsequent books of this series.
The humor is ON POINT. Err merr guurd. However, after the first fifty pages, I would have liked to see the characters take superiority over the humor. The plot did not swell and constrict like I was expecting it to because the satire overpowered the storyline. But hey, the world is ending. No one wants to read a book filled with mopey tears. Ok maybe we do, but not here!
Anna-Marie Abell has created an extremely impressive paranormal romance. Err-Apocalyptic romance? Heck, I don’t know what to even categorize this book as!
HOLY CRAP! THE WORLD IS ENDING! is in a class of its own.